How to Talk to Young Members of the Family About a Separation

Parents who choose to separate are often worried about how to tell their kids. There are ways to discuss this life change that can help them feel supported during a time of uncertainty.

Professionals can guide you through the process. Talk to an experienced Port St. Lucie family law attorney to learn more about the legal process of ending a marriage and ways to ensure that your family’s future is as stable and secure as possible.

Legal Preparation and Planning for a Conversation

Before speaking with your children, take time to understand the legal and logistical aspects of your separation. An attorney can help you navigate the complexities of custody arrangements, child support, and co-parenting plans to ensure that your children’s best interests are protected.

Having a clear plan for your separation can provide reassurance when discussing the situation with your children. You’ll be better equipped to answer their questions and address their concerns if you’ve already mapped out how things will change in their daily lives.

If possible, both parents should present a united front when talking to the kids. This shows them that even though their parents are separating, they remain a team dedicated to the children’s well-being. Agree in advance on what you’ll say and how you’ll answer common questions. This prevents conflicting messages.

Children of different ages process separation in unique ways, so tailor your approach to their level of understanding.

• Young children. Reassure them of your love and explain that the decision is about the adults, not them. Use simple, clear language.
• School-aged kids. They may have more questions, so be prepared to address how daily routines, living arrangements, and school life will be affected.
• Be honest but mindful of their emotional maturity.

Maintaining a schedule is also beneficial. Keeping routines consistent, such as meal times, school schedules, and extracurricular activities, provides a sense of normalcy. And as you move through your daily routine, avoid blame. Refrain from placing fault on either parent. Instead, frame the separation as a mutual decision when questions arise.

Encourage Communication and Seek Support

Ideally, you will create an environment where your children feel safe expressing their thoughts and concerns. Clear, honest dialogue is important. When answering questions, be truthful but avoid sharing adult details or conflicts. Then, continue to check on their emotions in the weeks and months following the conversation.

There is expertise to lean on, too. Children often find it rewarding to speak with a counselor or therapist during a separation. Trained professionals can provide tools to help them cope and adapt to family changes. And when choosing a Port St. Lucie family law attorney, be sure to select an attorney who understands the importance of putting your children’s needs first.

Has it been difficult for you to decide what to say to your kids? Talking to children about marital separations is never easy, but careful preparation and open communication can smooth the process. Consult with the lawyers at Baginski, Brandt & Brandt. To schedule a consultation, reach out.